Numb

It always seems that I need to catch up on things. Events, Times, just everything.

Last weekend I went home to take a break. I really needed to just have part of my old life back. I enjoyed seeing my boyfriend, hanging out with the crew (Randushi, Maria, Mike), and seeing my family. I cant wait to go home this weekend.

You know the feeling of when you know your right, but in the end your not satisfied with being so? I feel that right now. I'm sad at the way things have played out the last couple of months. I'm sad that so many things have happened mainly because of situations that I could've handled different. As of now, I feel non-important. I dont feel like I'm asset to anyone's life except a selective few. I really hate these feelings and I just want them to vanish, but in reality things dont happen this way.

Yesterday, I was 2 seconds away from quiting the EOP program. Somethings have just pushed me to my limits and have caused me to just not want to be a part of this "family". I'm tired of this place but I know if I leave I'll never forgive myself. I'm probably dehydrated from all the tears that fell. If it weren't for the consequences I'd b