Sober Thoughts

So I created a new blog on Tumblr. I guess I thought I needed a change but I find myself censoring everything I say because they're are too many people who know me that follow me. I still haven't learned how to express my true inner feelings and I kind of just wanna write for my own pleasure; not so people who could careless can read it. So I've made this blog my personal blog.


Lately I'll admit I've been really bitter probably because every night I lay in bed, and realize how much space there is for you to be here. It kills me that your forever in my thoughts, though I'm probably not in yours. Only time can tell what may happen, but as each day goes by I am constantly reminded that the likelihood of us ever being together gets diminished.


Reviewing this year in my mind I can't seem to remember anything. It seems like 09 was an amazing year for me and then in 2010 I was on auto pilot. I'll admit, I fucked up a lot this year. I don't think I put myself first at all and I just did things because they felt good and now I'm left regretting them.


It's a shame that I'm afraid to drink again knowing how emotional I get, and this time around it seems as though I have so many things to cry about. So unlike many, I will be a sober, bitter, heavy hearted person on New Year's hoping that you don't call me or end up at the same party.