Friends and Foes

It's been a while, like always but what can I do?

This weekend was probably the weekend of the wildest parties, but like the person I am I didn't go to not one of them. It's been extremely cold in Albany and definitely not the weather to be out in. It's rained all day today just to add to the depressed kind of state I'm in.

Earlier this week, I ordered my mom's birthday present online. It's really nice what I got her, and I'm sure she'll like it but I'm really upset that I can't go home. This is the first time I've missed her birthday and probably not the last. I hate the fact that I'm going to miss the look on her face when she reads our cards with the funniest sayings or sentimental greetings. Or the way she closes her eyes just before she blows out her candles. It kills me that I'm going to miss it all. This is probably why I've been so down lately but I guess in college your meant to find out things about yourself.

One thing that I've noticed that's extremely crazy is that I tend to not be able to sleep when my roommates not there or I know that she's leaving for the weekend. I'm so used to sharing a room with my sister that I feel uncomfortable when I'm alone. Last night I couldn't sleep at all. I constantly woke up practically every couple of hours. I think this is the reason, but idk.

For the first time in my life, I feel utterly friendless. The friends I had back at home seem to just forget about me despite the things we have gone through. It's amazing to see how one little variable such as a girlfriend changes everything. Even though some people may never agree with me, I am so grateful to have Veronica. like the feelings I have for her are inevitable. I miss her so much and I love her because it seems like she knows exactly when to call or to text me. It's crazy because she's probably going through so many more problems then those others but she still manages to just give me a call sometime.

On a better note, I've met some really cool, interesting people in Albany. Honestly, I feel like I meet "important" people accidentally. Jacques, who's known as "boogie" (don't ask) is really cool. I think he might be a potential bestie. haha