Things That Are Meant To Be Hidden

Recently, my feelings of self worth have been diminishing and fluctuating. Sometimes I feel beautiful and confident but most of the time I don't. I think it's better if I go unnoticed, hidden in the back just so I won't be compared to others. I never really thought that I'd being going through this. You know, the whole body image thing but being around other females so often I compare myself a lot to them.

Maybe it's just me. I'm psycologically programmed to think this way. Maybe this is why all these years I'd rather hang out with guys and usually have a significant amount of more male friends than females (despite the fact that they don't have drama).

But I have a question : What does it mean when the people your surronded by are constantly complimented, but you're not? Does it mean that you don't deserve a compliment or that they're just not interested? How should someone feel always been ignored or just unrecognized?

Maybe I shouldn't dwell on this. Maybe these self hatred feelings will go away, but yet maybe there are too many maybe's.

I couldn't sleep which is probably the reason why I'm bloggin at 6 am. I honestly don't know what it is. I have a midterm at 8:45 in one of my favorite classes: Holocaust in History. That will probably be the highlight of my day.


On a better note, Sunday was my group's (Service. Is. Key's) biggest event of the year. Our Hip-Hop/Gospel Fusion Competiton was a sell out. The audience was fantastic and everyone had a fabulous time. For once I feel accomplished.

Congratulations to the winners:
 1st Place- Tammy 'Po3tre3'Lopez
2nd Place- UA NASHA
3rd Place- Neil

I'd also like to thank everyone for their support and look out for our events in the future.


now back to my depressed state.