It's been a year of up's and downs, laughter and crying, pro's and con's, changes some bad and some good but overall 2009 was a great year.
Looking back on my life and my blogs I see the changes that I've gone through because of friends and family and I really believe it was one of the greatest years of my life. I've met so many people, been through so many things and despite them all I've learned so many things about people and even more so myself.
I'm really not into resolutions or anything because I feel like it's usually hard to follow, or people make them just because it sounds good. My resolution that I'm going to work extremely hard to follow is to just take it easy and live life not expecting things to be so perfect. This year I've been so uptight and cared too much bout things, which isn't always bad but it's time for a change. So in 2010 I'm going to just relax a bit and have fun.
Ending this year there's a lot of things I'm sad about. Especially about the way things turned out with certain people. We always hurt the ones we love the most, accidently of course, but I'm hoping I can make things the way they were before.
But on a better note, I wish you, who ever you are reading this an amazing New Year. I hope 2010 is a great as the previous.
So I'm ready for 2010. Best Friend's married, second semester of college approaching, and a hair cut.
Let's Do It !
:)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
7 inches.
As bad and terrible as it may seem, I really don't feel like studying right now. Sure I have two finals in 2 days, but I'm just not in the "studying mood", so I guess I'm procrastinating right now. For some reason the idea of going home does not act as a motivator. It's more or less the reason why I'm so distracted haha. I can't wait to be home, I know I'm going to have tons of fun with the amigos.
This week thus far has been pretty good, no complaints for the most part. It's a great feeling having no classes. I wish the school year consisted of more of these days. Today, so far, I've went to the Campus Center along with Chanti, despite the 7 inches of snow that has fallen. Although UA is a pretty ugly place, the snow makes everything seem so much more prettier. Hopefully later on today, after I've studied, I'll have a snow ball fight with my suitmates, just like the old days :)
I guess this time a year, especially because I'm away from home, I keep thinking about the younger years. You know, the years that were full of innocence and hand games. The days where you worries consisted of minor homework and playing outside with your friends. I can remember one Christmas where my mom bought me and my little brother sleds and we stayed out extremely late just looking around for the biggest hills. It was tons of fun, and I'm glad I got to enjoy myself, but who says you can't do even if you are 18 ! huh :)
Although December/January is supposed to be the greatest months of my life. Holidays and of course my birthday, I think it's going to be the least enjoyable. Veronica leaves now Jan. 3rd so she'll miss my birthday and practically everything else. It's really hard to except things. I know that I haven't but yesterday I was online looking for tickets so I could go visit her during Spring Break. I think that'll be fun. Despite my own opinions about the situation I'm just going to try my hardest to be supportive. I know she needs that the most.
Things are looking up for the most part. I guess it's time to get serious and start studying.
Until next time.....
This week thus far has been pretty good, no complaints for the most part. It's a great feeling having no classes. I wish the school year consisted of more of these days. Today, so far, I've went to the Campus Center along with Chanti, despite the 7 inches of snow that has fallen. Although UA is a pretty ugly place, the snow makes everything seem so much more prettier. Hopefully later on today, after I've studied, I'll have a snow ball fight with my suitmates, just like the old days :)
I guess this time a year, especially because I'm away from home, I keep thinking about the younger years. You know, the years that were full of innocence and hand games. The days where you worries consisted of minor homework and playing outside with your friends. I can remember one Christmas where my mom bought me and my little brother sleds and we stayed out extremely late just looking around for the biggest hills. It was tons of fun, and I'm glad I got to enjoy myself, but who says you can't do even if you are 18 ! huh :)
Although December/January is supposed to be the greatest months of my life. Holidays and of course my birthday, I think it's going to be the least enjoyable. Veronica leaves now Jan. 3rd so she'll miss my birthday and practically everything else. It's really hard to except things. I know that I haven't but yesterday I was online looking for tickets so I could go visit her during Spring Break. I think that'll be fun. Despite my own opinions about the situation I'm just going to try my hardest to be supportive. I know she needs that the most.
Things are looking up for the most part. I guess it's time to get serious and start studying.
Until next time.....
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Oh Boy
You know its December when you wake up in Albany to about 7 inches of snow !
Honestly, I can't believe how time has flown by. Where did November go? Despite the fact, I'm happy December is here. The last month of this crazy year and the season of love, family and friends. Looking back on this year, it's been one full of events. Graduation, College, making new friends, losing old friends, reconneting with friends and enjoying family. I have to say that 2009 was in fact the year that I changed the most. Emotionally, physcially, mentally and all of the above.
Last night I was talking to Kwame on the phone, well talking at him I think he was sleeping (lol) but I've noticed that I've just been really stressed out lately. I know change is inevitable, and we as humans can do nothing to prevent it but I just wish there was somethings that I could prevent. One thing for sure that has been on my mind lately is Veronica. I don't want her to leave. I'm completely in denial about me feelings. Sure I am extremely happy for her, but I just feel like maybe I'm just not as brave as her. To just put things aside and change everything in my life so drastically. Mainly I'm stressed because I know I'm going to miss her so much. Even though she barey hits me up, I feel like she has been the only friend who kept out vow: To always be there, no matter how far the distance may be. Despite our lack of communication at times, I feel like she's the only person other than a selective few who has consistantly been here for me and with her gone I'll have no one. I remember the day I found out she was leaving Feb. 3 my suitmate was talking to me and I was nearly in tears. It's sucks that she's leaving, for me atleast, but I guess its something I have to deal with.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I set my standards to high for people or in general. Like when having friends, who I truely care about I out them on a pedastile. I care about people too much to deserve to be treated like the bottom of the bottom, so I'm just gonna make the changes. I'm just gonna stop caring. I'm going to stop being like Casie and start being someone else, because the way I am no one appreciates.
Jumping to yet another topic, I was talking to an old friend the other day and there's no doubt that we have had our down falls, but I still like they way that I feel like there's something there. We we talking about how someone people just don't change. They never seem to grow up, and to me its sad. It's really a bitter feeling when someone who've been close with for friends is so typical. The person never really changes and your left feeling like there's no one, besides the people your surronded by, that you an relate to.
I completely know how this feels.
Honestly, I can't believe how time has flown by. Where did November go? Despite the fact, I'm happy December is here. The last month of this crazy year and the season of love, family and friends. Looking back on this year, it's been one full of events. Graduation, College, making new friends, losing old friends, reconneting with friends and enjoying family. I have to say that 2009 was in fact the year that I changed the most. Emotionally, physcially, mentally and all of the above.
Last night I was talking to Kwame on the phone, well talking at him I think he was sleeping (lol) but I've noticed that I've just been really stressed out lately. I know change is inevitable, and we as humans can do nothing to prevent it but I just wish there was somethings that I could prevent. One thing for sure that has been on my mind lately is Veronica. I don't want her to leave. I'm completely in denial about me feelings. Sure I am extremely happy for her, but I just feel like maybe I'm just not as brave as her. To just put things aside and change everything in my life so drastically. Mainly I'm stressed because I know I'm going to miss her so much. Even though she barey hits me up, I feel like she has been the only friend who kept out vow: To always be there, no matter how far the distance may be. Despite our lack of communication at times, I feel like she's the only person other than a selective few who has consistantly been here for me and with her gone I'll have no one. I remember the day I found out she was leaving Feb. 3 my suitmate was talking to me and I was nearly in tears. It's sucks that she's leaving, for me atleast, but I guess its something I have to deal with.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I set my standards to high for people or in general. Like when having friends, who I truely care about I out them on a pedastile. I care about people too much to deserve to be treated like the bottom of the bottom, so I'm just gonna make the changes. I'm just gonna stop caring. I'm going to stop being like Casie and start being someone else, because the way I am no one appreciates.
Jumping to yet another topic, I was talking to an old friend the other day and there's no doubt that we have had our down falls, but I still like they way that I feel like there's something there. We we talking about how someone people just don't change. They never seem to grow up, and to me its sad. It's really a bitter feeling when someone who've been close with for friends is so typical. The person never really changes and your left feeling like there's no one, besides the people your surronded by, that you an relate to.
I completely know how this feels.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Happy Happy, Joy Joy
It's been awhile since I've wrote, but I guess I just haven''t had the time to. Things have been really busy at school. Exams, finals and too many papers but I'm happy to be home.
I know it's old and people say it every year but I am really thankful for the things I have. It's terrible that I don't have this feeling everyday. That I don't appreciate it more, but I guess everyone comes to a realization. This thanksgiving nothing changed in my household. The same arguements, the same jokes, the same parents and siblings. Some for the good and some for the bad. But the one thing that hasn't changed is the love that I have for them. I missed my Mom so much. I couldn't wait to get back just to see her and talk. That was my main drive for coming home a day early. My friends, with out a doubt, I missed too.
Yesterday a couple of us went to the city in this Black Friday madness. It was a ton of fun. Rando, Kwame, Mikey, Cherease, and even Phillip ! It was honestly a great day/night shopping around, eating at Dallas BBQ's and going to the movies. As much as things have changed with everyone away at college or just not in the same place it felt good that nothing changed about the way we feel toward each other. I know I sound like I'm talking about a "relationship", but I don't think people understand how I feel. When I befriend someone there not just someone who lends a hand or crying shoulder. They are always engraved in my heart no matter how old we get, how far a apart we become or how long we go with out seeing each other. I went home last night feeling as if I had made friends for a lifetime and I'm greatful that we stay in touch.
So I go back to Albany tomorrow, which I'm not really looking forward to. But I'm not sad at all because I'll be back sooner than I know it. :)
I know it's old and people say it every year but I am really thankful for the things I have. It's terrible that I don't have this feeling everyday. That I don't appreciate it more, but I guess everyone comes to a realization. This thanksgiving nothing changed in my household. The same arguements, the same jokes, the same parents and siblings. Some for the good and some for the bad. But the one thing that hasn't changed is the love that I have for them. I missed my Mom so much. I couldn't wait to get back just to see her and talk. That was my main drive for coming home a day early. My friends, with out a doubt, I missed too.
Yesterday a couple of us went to the city in this Black Friday madness. It was a ton of fun. Rando, Kwame, Mikey, Cherease, and even Phillip ! It was honestly a great day/night shopping around, eating at Dallas BBQ's and going to the movies. As much as things have changed with everyone away at college or just not in the same place it felt good that nothing changed about the way we feel toward each other. I know I sound like I'm talking about a "relationship", but I don't think people understand how I feel. When I befriend someone there not just someone who lends a hand or crying shoulder. They are always engraved in my heart no matter how old we get, how far a apart we become or how long we go with out seeing each other. I went home last night feeling as if I had made friends for a lifetime and I'm greatful that we stay in touch.
So I go back to Albany tomorrow, which I'm not really looking forward to. But I'm not sad at all because I'll be back sooner than I know it. :)
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
blah
So it's 8:05 in the am, and I'm up extra early for no reason. I'm in a great mood proably because how my night ended last night. I'm sorry to say this, but my suite is the BEST, there's no if, and's or but's to it.
Last night we threw a little party fro Chanti. At first, the other night they sang Happy Birthday to her at 12pm and gave her these crappy vanilla/chocolate cookies with candles in them. Even though she was happy, we knew she was dissappointed, probably, but it was all a part of the plan. So last night, Jacques and I went to Walmart and bought her a delicious vanilla bean cake that was great. The surprise was really good and we could tell that she was really happy. Idk what it is, but it makes me even happier to see people happy. Sometimes I'd rather be upset or mad, then to see someone that way. So the night went really well with lap dances of course (haha), the boys from upstairs came down and we had a good time. We also made friends with out neighbors on the otherside of the hall. They look like Hollister models, well one of them. lol
Now I'm just in my bed, going to get ready for classes in a few. Thankfully I only have one class today at 10:15. Lately there is nothing I can think about except for going home for thanksgiving. It's terrible because I keep slacking as the time quickly goes by. I really can't wait to see everyone, to be back in the city, to get a taste of real life again. I've been yearning to get away from Albany, atleast for just a little bit. I have a feeling that when I go home, I'm not gonna want to come back. I miss everyone and everything in the city.
Last night we threw a little party fro Chanti. At first, the other night they sang Happy Birthday to her at 12pm and gave her these crappy vanilla/chocolate cookies with candles in them. Even though she was happy, we knew she was dissappointed, probably, but it was all a part of the plan. So last night, Jacques and I went to Walmart and bought her a delicious vanilla bean cake that was great. The surprise was really good and we could tell that she was really happy. Idk what it is, but it makes me even happier to see people happy. Sometimes I'd rather be upset or mad, then to see someone that way. So the night went really well with lap dances of course (haha), the boys from upstairs came down and we had a good time. We also made friends with out neighbors on the otherside of the hall. They look like Hollister models, well one of them. lol
Now I'm just in my bed, going to get ready for classes in a few. Thankfully I only have one class today at 10:15. Lately there is nothing I can think about except for going home for thanksgiving. It's terrible because I keep slacking as the time quickly goes by. I really can't wait to see everyone, to be back in the city, to get a taste of real life again. I've been yearning to get away from Albany, atleast for just a little bit. I have a feeling that when I go home, I'm not gonna want to come back. I miss everyone and everything in the city.
Monday, November 9, 2009
So Long
Maybe it's a phase Joandry says, but he's wrong. It's not a phase. It's not a feeling just for the moment. I hate it here. I hate the people, I hate the surrondings, I hate everything about this place. For the past 3 months I've lied to myself, trying to come to an agreement, but I can no longer. I can't sit here and pretend like I'm happy because I'm the furthest away from that feeling.
I can't withstand the hypocritical people, with their high paid positions who are full of crap. I can't stand the feeling of feeling completely and utterly like nothing. I can't stand a counselor who sits on her ass and does absolutely nothing for me or for her students. So, I have to go, I have to.
I'm finally happy to announce that the Spring symester will be my last at SUNY Albany. I can't wait to say good riddens to a hell-hole that they call an instituiton of higher learning. I don't know where I'm transfering to, but I know anything will be better than here. It's sad that its come to this already.
I can't withstand the hypocritical people, with their high paid positions who are full of crap. I can't stand the feeling of feeling completely and utterly like nothing. I can't stand a counselor who sits on her ass and does absolutely nothing for me or for her students. So, I have to go, I have to.
I'm finally happy to announce that the Spring symester will be my last at SUNY Albany. I can't wait to say good riddens to a hell-hole that they call an instituiton of higher learning. I don't know where I'm transfering to, but I know anything will be better than here. It's sad that its come to this already.
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