"We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of True Romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness."
— Hunter S. Thompson

Scattered Thoughts

For some odd reason I'm feeling really blissful right now. I had such an amazing weekend just being around people that have such a huge affect on the way I feel. For the first time in a while I feel loved and appreciated.


For some odd reason I feel really spiritual and at peace. Its starting to scare me how in-tune I can be with myself; I'm starting to like it.


I haven't been home in 4 months. Clearly I've been doing too much this semester. Secretly I just didn't wanna miss anything [or you], but I'm thrilled to see my family finally!


So now I'm just sitting in my room, anticipated an amazing break :)

until next time....

Redemption

I've had a pretty good day today I have to admit. Despite the hours I spent doing work, I feel pretty accomplished and satisfied, though there's a pile of papers sitting next to me that I haven't tackled yet. :(

I really hate hiding things, let alone being "phony". I'd rather show what I'm feeling but as we all know, wearing your heart on your sleeve gets you no where.

It's amazing to see how certain situations can have an everlasting affect on someone despite if you acknowledge them or not. I guess I'm coming to the conclusion that everything that goes unspoken about is unfortunately taking a huge tole on me now. I guess now that I'm older and mature I've realized that there's nothing to do but talk about them, accept them and let it go; being me nothing's really easy.

I know I'm a pessimist and I tend to dwell on the negative most of the time but when I say I'm forever grateful for the things I have and the people who are there for me I truly mean it.

On a random side note, Four Loko's have been banned in New York State. Am I upset? Absolutely not but clearly our government has put a hierarchy on the negative things you can consume. It's okay to give smoke cigarettes, which cause all types of cancers but not other things. (I'm clearly playing the devil's advocate here)

Until Next Time.....

I'm Back At It Again

So I've decided that I can't just abandon my blog. How rude of me to think of such an idea. Instead of completely starting a new one, I'm just going to continue with my speel or what ever comes to mind.

I feel like I have this artistic block. For me there's no other way to say the sky is blue besides the sky is blue. Everyone inspires to be this lyrical genius that uses similies, metaphors and all types of grammatical sexiness that I can't seem to do. Maybe I'm just too simple? Too modest? Too regualar ? Who knows.

I've noticed this semester that I'm still having trouble with just being honest with myself. We all know how straight forward, blunt and overall truthful I can be, but for some reason I can't seem to allow myself to be (says in quiet voice) vunerable again. I hate talking about myself, acknowledging my own feelings and it's been getting me in a lot of trouble. I wish I could just stop being Casie or go back to the non-emotional, uptight, always in-control person I used to be. It's amazing to witness my own evolution.

On a better note, for the first time in a while I can say things are good.
I hope they stay this way.

adios.

It seems as if every guy that I've ever been interested in is either in a relationship, something like a relationship, completely heartbroken or in the midst of getting over someone. In a sense it sort of makes me wonder where I stand exactly in the world of dating.

Someone said something really important to me today, which of course I'm not going to repeat and it made me really think. The outcome of this is I've decided to close down this blog and start something new. Since this was created solely based on someone else's wants/needs I've decided to do something for me (takes a huge sigh of relief). Maybe I'll be back, there's a possibility that I won't but you never know.

Summer 2010 Update #1

So I finally found a job. The only problem is I hate it. I hate waking up at 6 am 5 days a week to stand in the sun for 7 hours and get paid as if my job isn't that hard.
Your probably asking where could I be working and surprisingly it's at a summer camp. I enjoy working with kids but these people don't know how to run a camp at all ! It's
honestly ridiculous*.

Other than working my but off I'm super excited to go back to UA. I'm already tired of the city. Idk I just feel like I'm not having fun. There's so many things I could be
doing but I kind of don't have much of a choice. Maybe I should take a day off or two.

It's definitely the truth that as humans we often desire things that we cannot have and go beyond lengths to achieve these ridiculous* goals. Instead of being satisfied with
what we have we try to make the impossible, possible. Everyone wants to fall in love and everyone thinks that they need to go searching for it. I think if you wait, ultimately
good things will come; so that's exactly what I'm doing.

Until next time...

:)

1 Down, 3 More to Go

I have to say that yes I have completely forgot about my blog. I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written and tremendous things have happened so I'll try and sum everything up.

My first year of college is over (yay). I can't believe how quickly it has gone by. I've met so many amazing people at UA and I have to say that it has been such an amazing experience. The memories are everlasting and I cannot wait until the Fall ! I'm proud of my accomplishments this year, Dean's List both semesters (woo hoo) and making some of the best friends I know I'll have for awhile (at least I hope)

I'm really happy that I've gotten a chance to develop such great close friendships. To  my girls in 602: Tracy, Leiry, Chantelle and Argentina, I love you all so much and I'm so happy we got to live with each other. You all have become my family and you mean so much to me. I know we always say that the person who created our suite definitely got it right, but I think it's more than that. Everything happens for a reason <3

I'm definitely going to miss all the crazy moments that happened this year. Only the people (you know who you are) really know what really went down. From the BINGO Boys to trashing our neighbors suite. I really wish I could relive every single moment.


Now to the boring part, it's summer and honestly I don't know what it holds for me. I've been job searching ridiculously; I pray I get something ! I'm just hoping that this summer will be great with absolutely no drama ! (that's impossible).

On a better note, today I was just thinking aimlessly as usually and I thought of this:
        In life there will always be those that come and go. Those who stay are obviously here for a reason.
        It's just your mission to figure out why.

This made me think of my best friend Veronica. I love this girl so much words can't explain and through thick and thin I know she'll always be here for me and vise virsa.

Well that's it for me. I'll try and stay posted here and there :)