Yesterday and the past few weeks here in Albany, we've recieved so many lectures about being a part of this campus and the EOP program as whole. It wasn't until this morning that I realized that I love these people and our staff. I feel a true sense of unconditional love for the first time and anyone who knows me, knows that I am not good at goodbyes -___-. Friday, I come home to the life that I've always known still my feelings are full of emotions. Yes, I miss my family, my friends and the things we do but at the same time I know I'm going to miss the people here. They are just like me in so many ways and I've never felt more connected to a group of people this way before. Although I'm sad about it, I can't wait until August 27th.
Despite everything else I can honestly say, I'm just happy. I like the way things have gone thus far. Even though some things play out in a way you can never control, you have to learn not to regret them. Sooner or later you'll realize the reason why it happened and you'll get the message that someone wanted you to learn.
Yesterday we had a forum about what it means to be a "woman". I think that every female should have been there. It was amazing !, although someone had to say something inappropriately.
Life is not censored, so why should we be? Speak what's on your mind !
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Climax
Yesterday and the past few weeks here in Albany, we've recieved so many lectures about being a part of this campus and the EOP program as whole. It wasn't until this morning that I realized that I love these people and our staff. I feel a true sense of unconditional love for the first time and anyone who knows me, knows that I am not good at goodbyes -___-. Friday, I come home to the life that I've always known still my feelings are full of emotions. Yes, I miss my family, my friends and the things we do but at the same time I know I'm going to miss the people here. They are just like me in so many ways and I've never felt more connected to a group of people this way before. Although I'm sad about it, I can't wait until August 27th.
Despite everything else I can honestly say, I'm just happy. I like the way things have gone thus far. Even though some things play out in a way you can never control, you have to learn not to regret them. Sooner or later you'll realize the reason why it happened and you'll get the message that someone wanted you to learn.
Yesterday we had a forum about what it means to be a "woman". I think that every female should have been there. It was amazing !, although someone had to say something inappropriately.
Life is not censored, so why should we be? Speak what's on your mind !
Despite everything else I can honestly say, I'm just happy. I like the way things have gone thus far. Even though some things play out in a way you can never control, you have to learn not to regret them. Sooner or later you'll realize the reason why it happened and you'll get the message that someone wanted you to learn.
Yesterday we had a forum about what it means to be a "woman". I think that every female should have been there. It was amazing !, although someone had to say something inappropriately.
Life is not censored, so why should we be? Speak what's on your mind !
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Happy Days Are Here Again :)
so obviously as you may have noticed, my last entry got messed up. lol I guess that's the true essence of using blog on my phone !
Anywho, my day has been great so far. I got 100 on a math test which is completely unlike me. For once I feel like a college student. The pressure has started and I'm ready. Today I have no seminars or workshops so I might go to the mall or play tennis. Things have become more relaxed now that these 5 weeks are almost done. I have made so many friends, especially my roommates that I love and care about. I do feel like I have a UAlbany family :)
Happily, I am coming home tomorrow for the weekend. Hopely Veronica can stop being a Mexican and chill with us for once ! I don't care what anyone says Rando is the best and I treasure his friendship. I don't know any other person that texts me in the morning (besides Kwame) just to say Hi or have a good day. I love my Randushi ! Kwame's also amazing. 4 months yesterday and surely more to come ! I love my boyfriend :)
So I'm just anticipating this weekend and the few weeks to come. I'll keep you posted :)
Anywho, my day has been great so far. I got 100 on a math test which is completely unlike me. For once I feel like a college student. The pressure has started and I'm ready. Today I have no seminars or workshops so I might go to the mall or play tennis. Things have become more relaxed now that these 5 weeks are almost done. I have made so many friends, especially my roommates that I love and care about. I do feel like I have a UAlbany family :)
Happily, I am coming home tomorrow for the weekend. Hopely Veronica can stop being a Mexican and chill with us for once ! I don't care what anyone says Rando is the best and I treasure his friendship. I don't know any other person that texts me in the morning (besides Kwame) just to say Hi or have a good day. I love my Randushi ! Kwame's also amazing. 4 months yesterday and surely more to come ! I love my boyfriend :)
So I'm just anticipating this weekend and the few weeks to come. I'll keep you posted :)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Numb
It always seems that I need to catch up on things. Events, Times, just everything.
Last weekend I went home to take a break. I really needed to just have part of my old life back. I enjoyed seeing my boyfriend, hanging out with the crew (Randushi, Maria, Mike), and seeing my family. I cant wait to go home this weekend.
You know the feeling of when you know your right, but in the end your not satisfied with being so? I feel that right now. I'm sad at the way things have played out the last couple of months. I'm sad that so many things have happened mainly because of situations that I could've handled different. As of now, I feel non-important. I dont feel like I'm asset to anyone's life except a selective few. I really hate these feelings and I just want them to vanish, but in reality things dont happen this way.
Yesterday, I was 2 seconds away from quiting the EOP program. Somethings have just pushed me to my limits and have caused me to just not want to be a part of this "family". I'm tired of this place but I know if I leave I'll never forgive myself. I'm probably dehydrated from all the tears that fell. If it weren't for the consequences I'd b
Last weekend I went home to take a break. I really needed to just have part of my old life back. I enjoyed seeing my boyfriend, hanging out with the crew (Randushi, Maria, Mike), and seeing my family. I cant wait to go home this weekend.
You know the feeling of when you know your right, but in the end your not satisfied with being so? I feel that right now. I'm sad at the way things have played out the last couple of months. I'm sad that so many things have happened mainly because of situations that I could've handled different. As of now, I feel non-important. I dont feel like I'm asset to anyone's life except a selective few. I really hate these feelings and I just want them to vanish, but in reality things dont happen this way.
Yesterday, I was 2 seconds away from quiting the EOP program. Somethings have just pushed me to my limits and have caused me to just not want to be a part of this "family". I'm tired of this place but I know if I leave I'll never forgive myself. I'm probably dehydrated from all the tears that fell. If it weren't for the consequences I'd b
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Proud To Be, EOP
It has been A LONG time since I've wrote in my blog. I'm sorry but EOP has been more than I've expected.
In every program or "structured program" I should say there are always rules one has to abid by. In Albany, being in the EOP program is close to being in jail. We have 3 classes everyday for an hour, which isnt bad at all. I love my professor's and the daily study hours and papers is only going to help me in the future. The only main problem is with the SA's. These Student Assistants as they're called give us hell. Most of them are only sophomore's and feel because they have "authority" they are better than us. Only a few of them are absolutely rude and disrespectful but a couple have their flaws. As a student, the SA's can write you up for practically anything. One girl got written up for yawning in class, another for continuing to walk when the couselor claim to have said she called her when she didnt know her name, the reasons get even more ridiculous.
Despite the complains I am proud to be EOP. Yes, you other "regular" college student may look down upon us but we actually are smart. At the University at Albany more EOP students graduate at the top of their class than regular students. I think its because they prepare us so much. I've been here for a week and I know every building, where the different complexing are and where to go in case I need help. Being in the EOP program means they pay for your Graduate, Masters or PHD Degree which makes me extremly happy. To know that I don't have to take out crazy loans makes me happy.
Yesterday we visited the capital building in which we went into the Assembly Room, Senators Room and the Governors Press room. When your actually in Albany you learn a lot about our government and the things going on. Did you know that currently in the Senate we do not have a Leuitenant, which is why none of the economic bills are being passed? The Leuitenants job is to make the final decision when there is a tie in the votes. As of now we have 31 Republicans and 31 Democrats so nothing can get done. Governor Patterson used to be the Leuitnant but since he ha snow taken office as our governor of NY he can no longer be the Leuitenant. Technically speaking we can not have a new one until the election in 2010, but Pattersons working on appointing someone, which may be unconstitutional. I know I sound like a nerd, but look at the things you learn. :)
I have only been in Albany for a week, and I am home sick. I miss my friends, my mom but most of all my boyfriend. Being away is harder than I expected, especially with a busy schedule like mine. I can't wait to come home next friday ! I can't wait to see everyone.
In every program or "structured program" I should say there are always rules one has to abid by. In Albany, being in the EOP program is close to being in jail. We have 3 classes everyday for an hour, which isnt bad at all. I love my professor's and the daily study hours and papers is only going to help me in the future. The only main problem is with the SA's. These Student Assistants as they're called give us hell. Most of them are only sophomore's and feel because they have "authority" they are better than us. Only a few of them are absolutely rude and disrespectful but a couple have their flaws. As a student, the SA's can write you up for practically anything. One girl got written up for yawning in class, another for continuing to walk when the couselor claim to have said she called her when she didnt know her name, the reasons get even more ridiculous.
Despite the complains I am proud to be EOP. Yes, you other "regular" college student may look down upon us but we actually are smart. At the University at Albany more EOP students graduate at the top of their class than regular students. I think its because they prepare us so much. I've been here for a week and I know every building, where the different complexing are and where to go in case I need help. Being in the EOP program means they pay for your Graduate, Masters or PHD Degree which makes me extremly happy. To know that I don't have to take out crazy loans makes me happy.
Yesterday we visited the capital building in which we went into the Assembly Room, Senators Room and the Governors Press room. When your actually in Albany you learn a lot about our government and the things going on. Did you know that currently in the Senate we do not have a Leuitenant, which is why none of the economic bills are being passed? The Leuitenants job is to make the final decision when there is a tie in the votes. As of now we have 31 Republicans and 31 Democrats so nothing can get done. Governor Patterson used to be the Leuitnant but since he ha snow taken office as our governor of NY he can no longer be the Leuitenant. Technically speaking we can not have a new one until the election in 2010, but Pattersons working on appointing someone, which may be unconstitutional. I know I sound like a nerd, but look at the things you learn. :)
I have only been in Albany for a week, and I am home sick. I miss my friends, my mom but most of all my boyfriend. Being away is harder than I expected, especially with a busy schedule like mine. I can't wait to come home next friday ! I can't wait to see everyone.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Real Eyes Realize
I could sit here and right a full entry about all the negative things that are happening, but I am not. There too many good things that mean more than that. Everyone focuses on the negative probably because its easier to remember the bad, but shouldn't happy moments be those that come to mind first?
Yesterday was the first time in a while in which I just felt good. I spent the entire day with my boyfriend and just hung out. I know I sound like a broken record but he's really amazing. He is with out a doubt the perfect match for me besides he's unneccessary bursts of energy (lol).
I'm happy to say that I am already meeting friends in UAlbany. Her name is Claritza and she has one of the greatest personalities ever! Despite the fact she's a giant, I've only really talked to her a hand full of times but she's just soo cool. Yesterday I couldn't stop laughing talking to her. We vibe off each other which is cool. I think we're going to have a great time in Albany together.
This week I've realized the meaning of friends. The one person that has been on my mind is Rando. Although I am not religious or anything, he is the only person I know that can be considered an angel. I really don't know where this kid comes from ! He has the biggest heart anyone can have and I'm going to miss him so much. It's a shame that we never spoke until this year but I've seen him undergo so much pain, but yet he is still as strong as can be. I wish I had the strength he pursues. He is honestly amazing and anyone should be greatful for his friendship. I really love this guy and I'm sure we will stay friends.
Yesterday was the first time in a while in which I just felt good. I spent the entire day with my boyfriend and just hung out. I know I sound like a broken record but he's really amazing. He is with out a doubt the perfect match for me besides he's unneccessary bursts of energy (lol).
I'm happy to say that I am already meeting friends in UAlbany. Her name is Claritza and she has one of the greatest personalities ever! Despite the fact she's a giant, I've only really talked to her a hand full of times but she's just soo cool. Yesterday I couldn't stop laughing talking to her. We vibe off each other which is cool. I think we're going to have a great time in Albany together.
This week I've realized the meaning of friends. The one person that has been on my mind is Rando. Although I am not religious or anything, he is the only person I know that can be considered an angel. I really don't know where this kid comes from ! He has the biggest heart anyone can have and I'm going to miss him so much. It's a shame that we never spoke until this year but I've seen him undergo so much pain, but yet he is still as strong as can be. I wish I had the strength he pursues. He is honestly amazing and anyone should be greatful for his friendship. I really love this guy and I'm sure we will stay friends.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
(Insert Title Here: )
WOW. If my blog we're a baby it would be dead by now. I've neglected it too much probably because everything that's going on. I don't even know where to start.
For one HIGH SCHOOL is over. Senior Picnic was amazing despite its down sides but overall I had so much fun (like always). Graduation was entertaining, thanks to those who have a sense of humor that is beyond funny. It wasn't until those laughs that I released how much I'm going to miss RFK. I left with kind of a negative attitude due to some events but I've realized that I would never choose another place to spend my high school years. The friends that I've made that are still here today can never be replaced. The experiences that I've undergone have ultimately made me who I am and as corny as it seems, it's because of RFK. I will truely miss everyone and I hope that we keep in touch.
Now for the sad part, unfortunately this is my last week in NYC for a month. My summer is more than cut in half and I'm sadden at the fact that I'll miss everything. I'll miss the daily visits to the beach, I'll miss Ergin and Arsen always fighting over which country is better (Russia or Albania), I'll miss Rando's sweet gestures and real ways of life, I'll miss Vero's moments, her laugh and even more her being an amazing friend, I'll miss Ergin's disgusting conversations of "hot blonde girls" (or maybe I won't ), but most of all I'll miss my Mom and my boyfriend. I don't know how I'm going to last a month with out you. Kwame I'm going to miss everything about you. All the laughs we have. You are amazing and I wouldn't trade you for anything. :( I just want to have as much fun this week with everyone I love and care about.
In life there are always changes one can not avoid. I for one always avoid change because the meaning of it may be unknown. But today I am proud of myself because I am making my own changes. I myself have learned to not put up with things. There are too many people in the world out there that may be even more amazing that I can relate to and share a friendship. For that reason I have decided to let go of a friendship that is obviously becoming something no one expected it would be. It is unbelievable how people change with one variable to there life. How people become someone else and act extremely selfish to world and the people they know in it. Although I am sadden by this I feel it is the best because no one is supposed to live a repetetive life (isn't that why we learn history?). I am extremly proud of myself for making such a change because if you know me well enough you know that I do not like it at all. For once I am taking a risk which seems like a great choice. No one is replaceable and the experiences I have undergone can never be erased but there are some people that just don't belong and in the future we will see the outcome. All I can say is that I believe I've been an okay friend. All I can do is try, but when one doesn't receive the same in return its obviously a sign.
So I am done. I don't want to write about this anymore, consider it a goodbye.
For one HIGH SCHOOL is over. Senior Picnic was amazing despite its down sides but overall I had so much fun (like always). Graduation was entertaining, thanks to those who have a sense of humor that is beyond funny. It wasn't until those laughs that I released how much I'm going to miss RFK. I left with kind of a negative attitude due to some events but I've realized that I would never choose another place to spend my high school years. The friends that I've made that are still here today can never be replaced. The experiences that I've undergone have ultimately made me who I am and as corny as it seems, it's because of RFK. I will truely miss everyone and I hope that we keep in touch.
Now for the sad part, unfortunately this is my last week in NYC for a month. My summer is more than cut in half and I'm sadden at the fact that I'll miss everything. I'll miss the daily visits to the beach, I'll miss Ergin and Arsen always fighting over which country is better (Russia or Albania), I'll miss Rando's sweet gestures and real ways of life, I'll miss Vero's moments, her laugh and even more her being an amazing friend, I'll miss Ergin's disgusting conversations of "hot blonde girls" (or maybe I won't ), but most of all I'll miss my Mom and my boyfriend. I don't know how I'm going to last a month with out you. Kwame I'm going to miss everything about you. All the laughs we have. You are amazing and I wouldn't trade you for anything. :( I just want to have as much fun this week with everyone I love and care about.
In life there are always changes one can not avoid. I for one always avoid change because the meaning of it may be unknown. But today I am proud of myself because I am making my own changes. I myself have learned to not put up with things. There are too many people in the world out there that may be even more amazing that I can relate to and share a friendship. For that reason I have decided to let go of a friendship that is obviously becoming something no one expected it would be. It is unbelievable how people change with one variable to there life. How people become someone else and act extremely selfish to world and the people they know in it. Although I am sadden by this I feel it is the best because no one is supposed to live a repetetive life (isn't that why we learn history?). I am extremly proud of myself for making such a change because if you know me well enough you know that I do not like it at all. For once I am taking a risk which seems like a great choice. No one is replaceable and the experiences I have undergone can never be erased but there are some people that just don't belong and in the future we will see the outcome. All I can say is that I believe I've been an okay friend. All I can do is try, but when one doesn't receive the same in return its obviously a sign.
So I am done. I don't want to write about this anymore, consider it a goodbye.
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