Albany is exactly what I expected. Not surprisingly I did actually miss it. It's been great to reconnect with my friends and have some what of an easy going life style. I'm definitely going to soak this up for sure.
Even though I've only been in school since Wednesday this week seems so long ! I feel like the days have been dragging on and todays only Thursday ! I'm not in a rush or anything but jesh can we move any slower? This semester has really been hitting my pockets. My books are extremely expensive for basically no reason. I really see why some people don't attend college. Besides tuition being one of the worries college is just really expensive ! I doubt that I'll have enough money left to enjoy the weeekend by the time I'm done paying for books.
Speaking of this weekend, Saturdays my birthday which I'm not really looking forward to. I really don't feel like going out or spending money that I really can't afford to spend. To be honest it's sort of depressing. I really don't know what I'm gonna do.
Looking around at some of my friends fb profiles you always see that most people have someone in their corner. Someone rooting for them and supporting them no matter what. That's something that I lack. I don't have old high school teachers or family memebers in my corner leaving me comments about how successful I'll be or how they're proud. I mean I'm not "hating", I'm just kind of jealous. Everyone at a certain time deserves a pat on the back every now and then even though you don't really need it. I think that's something that I've never had.
So I'm at work extremely bored as always. Luckily I'm only here to 2 hours but I have a class 45 minutes later. I can't wait til its over so I can go back to sleep. I'm really exaughsted.
Well that's it for now. I'll be sure to update later.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Food For Thought
Coming back home for the break I thought I could change everything. I thought I could make things return to the normal type of life that I once had. You know the perfect scenario: boyfriend, love, best friend(s), family and good times. But its taken me today, the day before I go back to Albany to realize that I cannot, only because things are meant to be the way they are.
Today I am extremely happy that things have turned out the way they are. It's taken me beyond many challenges to see what I was getting myself into. Befriending what I called was a best friend definitely wasn't what I thought it was. Looking at this person today he/she is someone that I wouldn't want to be around. Someone who displays a loving nature (which he/she is), but possess the kind of back stabbing, two-face, conniving demeanor that I long to be nothing a part. I feel like it's my duty to give a warning and reveal the truth but it's not my responsibility. People have to learn on they're own just like I have.
This vacation has been one of much learning, fun and ups and downs, but I'm so ready to go back to Albany ! I'm actually excited which is a first. I'm anticipating one hectic week but I'm ready.
Are you? :)
Today I am extremely happy that things have turned out the way they are. It's taken me beyond many challenges to see what I was getting myself into. Befriending what I called was a best friend definitely wasn't what I thought it was. Looking at this person today he/she is someone that I wouldn't want to be around. Someone who displays a loving nature (which he/she is), but possess the kind of back stabbing, two-face, conniving demeanor that I long to be nothing a part. I feel like it's my duty to give a warning and reveal the truth but it's not my responsibility. People have to learn on they're own just like I have.
This vacation has been one of much learning, fun and ups and downs, but I'm so ready to go back to Albany ! I'm actually excited which is a first. I'm anticipating one hectic week but I'm ready.
Are you? :)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
you WERE my bestfriend.
It's actually pretty sad that I don't know what today's date is.When your not in school or you don't really have anything really important to do it really doesn't matter. Today is a day just like yesterday and the day before. The only difference is probably the weather or what you'll do.
I'm really sorry I haven't been blogging much, I've just been so busy having fun and enjoying myself, but I will tell you about my terrible day yesterday. Approximately 3 days ago I started to have this tooth ache. At first it really wasn't bad just some discomfort here and there but eventually it escalated to the point where I found myself crying hysterically. Yesterday I went to the dentist where I had to have a root canal because of some nerve damage due to my stupid wisdom tooth growing in. It wasn't painful at all (although rumors say otherwise). He made sure I was highly sudated and everything went well. Thankfully Kwame waited and stayed with me which I really want to thank him for. I could barely talk afterward since my mouth was completely numb but it wasn't so bad.
My random thought of today is why do people make there significant other such a priority. I'm not talking about people who are married, just teens/young adults who are in a relationship. Looking at some of my friends it seems like everytime they have a girlfriend/boyfriend they forget about their friends who are in many cases just as important. Friendships and even best friends end a relationship because the person simply can't balance it out.
So my question is : Is it wrong to make your significant other such a priority that you forget about your friends that have known you for years, or is it just expected ?
For me personally my answer is yes. For most of my life my friends have been my life and as they say boys come and go. To me my friends are not less than or more important than my boyfriend, they are just as important. However, I think that most people don't think that way. Once you get in a relationship it becomes all about them and no one else. I've seen people who were best friends completely not speak to each other anymore because of a boy. A BOY ! Idk for myself I think Kwame understands how important my friends are and he even knows them so it makes things easier. But who knows.
What do you think ?
I'm really sorry I haven't been blogging much, I've just been so busy having fun and enjoying myself, but I will tell you about my terrible day yesterday. Approximately 3 days ago I started to have this tooth ache. At first it really wasn't bad just some discomfort here and there but eventually it escalated to the point where I found myself crying hysterically. Yesterday I went to the dentist where I had to have a root canal because of some nerve damage due to my stupid wisdom tooth growing in. It wasn't painful at all (although rumors say otherwise). He made sure I was highly sudated and everything went well. Thankfully Kwame waited and stayed with me which I really want to thank him for. I could barely talk afterward since my mouth was completely numb but it wasn't so bad.
My random thought of today is why do people make there significant other such a priority. I'm not talking about people who are married, just teens/young adults who are in a relationship. Looking at some of my friends it seems like everytime they have a girlfriend/boyfriend they forget about their friends who are in many cases just as important. Friendships and even best friends end a relationship because the person simply can't balance it out.
So my question is : Is it wrong to make your significant other such a priority that you forget about your friends that have known you for years, or is it just expected ?
For me personally my answer is yes. For most of my life my friends have been my life and as they say boys come and go. To me my friends are not less than or more important than my boyfriend, they are just as important. However, I think that most people don't think that way. Once you get in a relationship it becomes all about them and no one else. I've seen people who were best friends completely not speak to each other anymore because of a boy. A BOY ! Idk for myself I think Kwame understands how important my friends are and he even knows them so it makes things easier. But who knows.
What do you think ?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Random Thoughts
So it's my first post of the New Year. I hate to start off on a bad note but I've just had a random thought.
Why is it that we humans always complain about things when there are people in the world that obviously have it far worse than ourselves. I know that I'm guilty, being the complainer that I am but the things I complain about really don't matter. It's those of you that always say and write about the same things.
I'm sure I sound a little harsh. There has to be some where to spill your thoughts and just vent, but why about the same issue over and over again. It makes me want to just discontinue what ever you say/write.
The other day I was reading other people blogs that I follow and there is one individual that never writes about anything happy or positive. I'm sure throughout your "dreadful" day there was one thing that made you smile or made you atleast think of a positive thought. But you see that's what's wrong with our society. We only dwell or broadcast the negative rather than those things that are actually uplifting. Therefore I really can't judge this person, for they are only doing what we are expected to do.
The last couple of weeks have been beautiful (not the weather, just the things that I've done). Hanging out with new and some old friends makes me feel like this have not changed and of course Kwame being there is just a perk. I really have no complaints at all, because I'm trying to look on the bright side.
There's a lot of things coming up that I'm not necessarily looking forward to, but most of them I am. Second semester is approaching, my 19th birthday (i'm getting old), and some other things. But I'm just going to take it a day at a time and not rush it.
Today I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm sure I'll update you later.
Until next time...
Why is it that we humans always complain about things when there are people in the world that obviously have it far worse than ourselves. I know that I'm guilty, being the complainer that I am but the things I complain about really don't matter. It's those of you that always say and write about the same things.
I'm sure I sound a little harsh. There has to be some where to spill your thoughts and just vent, but why about the same issue over and over again. It makes me want to just discontinue what ever you say/write.
The other day I was reading other people blogs that I follow and there is one individual that never writes about anything happy or positive. I'm sure throughout your "dreadful" day there was one thing that made you smile or made you atleast think of a positive thought. But you see that's what's wrong with our society. We only dwell or broadcast the negative rather than those things that are actually uplifting. Therefore I really can't judge this person, for they are only doing what we are expected to do.
The last couple of weeks have been beautiful (not the weather, just the things that I've done). Hanging out with new and some old friends makes me feel like this have not changed and of course Kwame being there is just a perk. I really have no complaints at all, because I'm trying to look on the bright side.
There's a lot of things coming up that I'm not necessarily looking forward to, but most of them I am. Second semester is approaching, my 19th birthday (i'm getting old), and some other things. But I'm just going to take it a day at a time and not rush it.
Today I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm sure I'll update you later.
Until next time...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
So Long 2009, Hello 2010 :)
It's been a year of up's and downs, laughter and crying, pro's and con's, changes some bad and some good but overall 2009 was a great year.
Looking back on my life and my blogs I see the changes that I've gone through because of friends and family and I really believe it was one of the greatest years of my life. I've met so many people, been through so many things and despite them all I've learned so many things about people and even more so myself.
I'm really not into resolutions or anything because I feel like it's usually hard to follow, or people make them just because it sounds good. My resolution that I'm going to work extremely hard to follow is to just take it easy and live life not expecting things to be so perfect. This year I've been so uptight and cared too much bout things, which isn't always bad but it's time for a change. So in 2010 I'm going to just relax a bit and have fun.
Ending this year there's a lot of things I'm sad about. Especially about the way things turned out with certain people. We always hurt the ones we love the most, accidently of course, but I'm hoping I can make things the way they were before.
But on a better note, I wish you, who ever you are reading this an amazing New Year. I hope 2010 is a great as the previous.
So I'm ready for 2010. Best Friend's married, second semester of college approaching, and a hair cut.
Let's Do It !
:)
Looking back on my life and my blogs I see the changes that I've gone through because of friends and family and I really believe it was one of the greatest years of my life. I've met so many people, been through so many things and despite them all I've learned so many things about people and even more so myself.
I'm really not into resolutions or anything because I feel like it's usually hard to follow, or people make them just because it sounds good. My resolution that I'm going to work extremely hard to follow is to just take it easy and live life not expecting things to be so perfect. This year I've been so uptight and cared too much bout things, which isn't always bad but it's time for a change. So in 2010 I'm going to just relax a bit and have fun.
Ending this year there's a lot of things I'm sad about. Especially about the way things turned out with certain people. We always hurt the ones we love the most, accidently of course, but I'm hoping I can make things the way they were before.
But on a better note, I wish you, who ever you are reading this an amazing New Year. I hope 2010 is a great as the previous.
So I'm ready for 2010. Best Friend's married, second semester of college approaching, and a hair cut.
Let's Do It !
:)
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
7 inches.
As bad and terrible as it may seem, I really don't feel like studying right now. Sure I have two finals in 2 days, but I'm just not in the "studying mood", so I guess I'm procrastinating right now. For some reason the idea of going home does not act as a motivator. It's more or less the reason why I'm so distracted haha. I can't wait to be home, I know I'm going to have tons of fun with the amigos.
This week thus far has been pretty good, no complaints for the most part. It's a great feeling having no classes. I wish the school year consisted of more of these days. Today, so far, I've went to the Campus Center along with Chanti, despite the 7 inches of snow that has fallen. Although UA is a pretty ugly place, the snow makes everything seem so much more prettier. Hopefully later on today, after I've studied, I'll have a snow ball fight with my suitmates, just like the old days :)
I guess this time a year, especially because I'm away from home, I keep thinking about the younger years. You know, the years that were full of innocence and hand games. The days where you worries consisted of minor homework and playing outside with your friends. I can remember one Christmas where my mom bought me and my little brother sleds and we stayed out extremely late just looking around for the biggest hills. It was tons of fun, and I'm glad I got to enjoy myself, but who says you can't do even if you are 18 ! huh :)
Although December/January is supposed to be the greatest months of my life. Holidays and of course my birthday, I think it's going to be the least enjoyable. Veronica leaves now Jan. 3rd so she'll miss my birthday and practically everything else. It's really hard to except things. I know that I haven't but yesterday I was online looking for tickets so I could go visit her during Spring Break. I think that'll be fun. Despite my own opinions about the situation I'm just going to try my hardest to be supportive. I know she needs that the most.
Things are looking up for the most part. I guess it's time to get serious and start studying.
Until next time.....
This week thus far has been pretty good, no complaints for the most part. It's a great feeling having no classes. I wish the school year consisted of more of these days. Today, so far, I've went to the Campus Center along with Chanti, despite the 7 inches of snow that has fallen. Although UA is a pretty ugly place, the snow makes everything seem so much more prettier. Hopefully later on today, after I've studied, I'll have a snow ball fight with my suitmates, just like the old days :)
I guess this time a year, especially because I'm away from home, I keep thinking about the younger years. You know, the years that were full of innocence and hand games. The days where you worries consisted of minor homework and playing outside with your friends. I can remember one Christmas where my mom bought me and my little brother sleds and we stayed out extremely late just looking around for the biggest hills. It was tons of fun, and I'm glad I got to enjoy myself, but who says you can't do even if you are 18 ! huh :)
Although December/January is supposed to be the greatest months of my life. Holidays and of course my birthday, I think it's going to be the least enjoyable. Veronica leaves now Jan. 3rd so she'll miss my birthday and practically everything else. It's really hard to except things. I know that I haven't but yesterday I was online looking for tickets so I could go visit her during Spring Break. I think that'll be fun. Despite my own opinions about the situation I'm just going to try my hardest to be supportive. I know she needs that the most.
Things are looking up for the most part. I guess it's time to get serious and start studying.
Until next time.....
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Oh Boy
You know its December when you wake up in Albany to about 7 inches of snow !
Honestly, I can't believe how time has flown by. Where did November go? Despite the fact, I'm happy December is here. The last month of this crazy year and the season of love, family and friends. Looking back on this year, it's been one full of events. Graduation, College, making new friends, losing old friends, reconneting with friends and enjoying family. I have to say that 2009 was in fact the year that I changed the most. Emotionally, physcially, mentally and all of the above.
Last night I was talking to Kwame on the phone, well talking at him I think he was sleeping (lol) but I've noticed that I've just been really stressed out lately. I know change is inevitable, and we as humans can do nothing to prevent it but I just wish there was somethings that I could prevent. One thing for sure that has been on my mind lately is Veronica. I don't want her to leave. I'm completely in denial about me feelings. Sure I am extremely happy for her, but I just feel like maybe I'm just not as brave as her. To just put things aside and change everything in my life so drastically. Mainly I'm stressed because I know I'm going to miss her so much. Even though she barey hits me up, I feel like she has been the only friend who kept out vow: To always be there, no matter how far the distance may be. Despite our lack of communication at times, I feel like she's the only person other than a selective few who has consistantly been here for me and with her gone I'll have no one. I remember the day I found out she was leaving Feb. 3 my suitmate was talking to me and I was nearly in tears. It's sucks that she's leaving, for me atleast, but I guess its something I have to deal with.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I set my standards to high for people or in general. Like when having friends, who I truely care about I out them on a pedastile. I care about people too much to deserve to be treated like the bottom of the bottom, so I'm just gonna make the changes. I'm just gonna stop caring. I'm going to stop being like Casie and start being someone else, because the way I am no one appreciates.
Jumping to yet another topic, I was talking to an old friend the other day and there's no doubt that we have had our down falls, but I still like they way that I feel like there's something there. We we talking about how someone people just don't change. They never seem to grow up, and to me its sad. It's really a bitter feeling when someone who've been close with for friends is so typical. The person never really changes and your left feeling like there's no one, besides the people your surronded by, that you an relate to.
I completely know how this feels.
Honestly, I can't believe how time has flown by. Where did November go? Despite the fact, I'm happy December is here. The last month of this crazy year and the season of love, family and friends. Looking back on this year, it's been one full of events. Graduation, College, making new friends, losing old friends, reconneting with friends and enjoying family. I have to say that 2009 was in fact the year that I changed the most. Emotionally, physcially, mentally and all of the above.
Last night I was talking to Kwame on the phone, well talking at him I think he was sleeping (lol) but I've noticed that I've just been really stressed out lately. I know change is inevitable, and we as humans can do nothing to prevent it but I just wish there was somethings that I could prevent. One thing for sure that has been on my mind lately is Veronica. I don't want her to leave. I'm completely in denial about me feelings. Sure I am extremely happy for her, but I just feel like maybe I'm just not as brave as her. To just put things aside and change everything in my life so drastically. Mainly I'm stressed because I know I'm going to miss her so much. Even though she barey hits me up, I feel like she has been the only friend who kept out vow: To always be there, no matter how far the distance may be. Despite our lack of communication at times, I feel like she's the only person other than a selective few who has consistantly been here for me and with her gone I'll have no one. I remember the day I found out she was leaving Feb. 3 my suitmate was talking to me and I was nearly in tears. It's sucks that she's leaving, for me atleast, but I guess its something I have to deal with.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I set my standards to high for people or in general. Like when having friends, who I truely care about I out them on a pedastile. I care about people too much to deserve to be treated like the bottom of the bottom, so I'm just gonna make the changes. I'm just gonna stop caring. I'm going to stop being like Casie and start being someone else, because the way I am no one appreciates.
Jumping to yet another topic, I was talking to an old friend the other day and there's no doubt that we have had our down falls, but I still like they way that I feel like there's something there. We we talking about how someone people just don't change. They never seem to grow up, and to me its sad. It's really a bitter feeling when someone who've been close with for friends is so typical. The person never really changes and your left feeling like there's no one, besides the people your surronded by, that you an relate to.
I completely know how this feels.
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