Impossible

I'm at what UA calls "work" right now. Honestly, this is the first and probably last time in my life that I'll complain about having job that consists of doing nothing. Sure, everyone thinks aneasy job is the best thing that could happen, but when it's a job where there's no excitement, sometimes no people and absolutely no fun I'll take a job that's hard working anyday.

Sometimes sitting in the empty spacious room my thoughts just linger around. I think about everything; good and bad. Maybe it is beneficial to have a set time where you just think, but for me it sort of leads to depression. Idk everytime I leave work, I feel sort of down. I hate being alone to begin with so being here makes matters even worse. Sometimes I hope someone comes into the Penthouse just so I wouldn't have to be lost in my thoughts or sulking. I hope that someone comes in and gives me something to do. but w/e

This week has been pretty stressful dealing with my English professor and my suitmates. Thursday my suitemates decided to buy a rug that I thought wasn't worth 60 bucks. It's ugly, doesn't cover enough space and is hard to match things with. I personally don't really care but I don't like paying for things that I don't like or that I'm never going to use. They keep saying that the rug is for us to "bond" on and honestly I think that's bull shit. The rug is for all their friends who get drunk and need somewhere to crash so they don't get caught staggering back to their rooms. Why am I paying for someone else's enjoyment, is what I don't completely understand. To be honest, I don't really like some of my suitmates on a friend level. Sure I live with them and I respect them but I never call them my friend. I guess I'm just so used to the group of people I hung out with back at home.

We never needed drugs or alcohol or anything to make us have fun besides ourselves and place. I personally can't stand when people get pissy drunk to have fun. To me that's just proves that your one hell of a boring person. I hate that they do the same crap every single weekend. Yeah, we're in college and this is the time to go clubbing and partying but don't you like doing other things? Don't you like going to comedy clubs and seeing what else is out there? I have yet to find a group of people, let alone even a person who is close to being like me. Everyone here in UA from what I've met, seems to be these stereotypical freshmans and I can't stand it. I don't mean to be the anti-social person in my suite, but its just not me to drink or go to clubs every single weekend.

I know I just went home last weekend, but I'm feeling like I need a break again. Just an opportunity to break away from this repetitive life. I wanna go back home and chill with Veronica and Rando and everyone else and not have to worry about people thinking I'm a "party pooper" just because I don't smoke or I don't wanna get drunk. I wanna be around people that a real and not like the fake ass people that I'm surrounded by.  Is that so hard to ask for?

Finding that seems pretty much impossible.